At twilight pondandsky ensconced.
Eliciting refracted light above and
beyond the willows’ wilting bones;
casting spindly ghoul shadows upon
the early morning swells. Thick-globed
lips gulp the evil, succour bread-flake
to ghostly swirls; incite rolling of sleeves,
shading of eyes toward the moonlikesun.
Such synergy is enough, and we sleep
like drunken babies on a dewy shore.
A fishing poem
Moderator: Clare
- GrimDad
- Royal Poet
- Posts: 132
- Joined: Sat May 29, 2004 7:35 pm
- Location: UK
- K
- Royal Poet
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2005 1:18 am
- Contact:
Thanks GD.
I do appreciate feedback. It is a little disconcerting when there are no replies. No idea whether people like it, hate it or even worse are totally indifferent, but I guess that's my own insecurity kicking in.
I guess what I write is hard to penetrate sometimes, I tend to get carried away with phrasing and the like. A large percentage of my poems aren't really about much, contain no message, hence perhaps difficult to connect to.
Thanks again.
cheers
Kris
I do appreciate feedback. It is a little disconcerting when there are no replies. No idea whether people like it, hate it or even worse are totally indifferent, but I guess that's my own insecurity kicking in.
I guess what I write is hard to penetrate sometimes, I tend to get carried away with phrasing and the like. A large percentage of my poems aren't really about much, contain no message, hence perhaps difficult to connect to.
Thanks again.
cheers
Kris
-
- Royal Poet
- Posts: 129
- Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2004 6:02 am
- Location: Gainsborough
Hi Kris,
Here is one of my poems about fishing but from
a different point of view. This type of poem is a double Tetracys.
The nornal tetractys is a 20 syllable count, lines 1,2,3 & 4
have that number of syllables and line 5 has 10 syllables.
Silky
GONE FISHING
Brisk
Spider,
Spins his web
On air currents
Of blowing wind, fishing for his dinner.
Dinner over, the web is inspected,
Repairs are made.
Once complete,
Spider
Waits.
Here is one of my poems about fishing but from
a different point of view. This type of poem is a double Tetracys.
The nornal tetractys is a 20 syllable count, lines 1,2,3 & 4
have that number of syllables and line 5 has 10 syllables.
Silky
GONE FISHING
Brisk
Spider,
Spins his web
On air currents
Of blowing wind, fishing for his dinner.
Dinner over, the web is inspected,
Repairs are made.
Once complete,
Spider
Waits.
Though retired, I'm still working as an editor for a poetry/short story magazine.
- K
- Royal Poet
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2005 1:18 am
- Contact:
I enjoyed that John.
Would lend itself well to haiku/renga/tanka.
But it stands well as it is.
I'd be interested to find out about the poetry group you frequent/run.
Not sure but I think a mutual friend mentioned you, as he knows I dabble in poetry. His name is Dave - surname I have no idea, works at Harbour Place?
Anyhoo if you could send me some info on the poetry group, that would be much appreciated.
Cheers
Kris
Would lend itself well to haiku/renga/tanka.
But it stands well as it is.
I'd be interested to find out about the poetry group you frequent/run.
Not sure but I think a mutual friend mentioned you, as he knows I dabble in poetry. His name is Dave - surname I have no idea, works at Harbour Place?
Anyhoo if you could send me some info on the poetry group, that would be much appreciated.
Cheers
Kris