An answer of silence

[enigma]

I've been asking questions
for so long
who am I
where do I belong
all this time
with no reply
with no answer
I kneel and cry.

"speak to me "
I cry in vain
still no answer
I live in pain
if you do not
speak to me
how am I to blame
for what I come to be?

"I hate you"
I suddenly shout
for what I feel
my spiritual drought
all the things
I have been through
how can you live
with being you.

"why?" I ask god
giving up on hope
the things we do
how can we cope
living our lives
without your advice
just speak to me
what's your price?

"where are you?"
I suddenly rage
"you selfish **"
with god I engage
she's out there
in some place
an ambiguous being
without a face.

"screw you then"
I confidently decide
I'll turn my back
in atheist pride
so many people
put faith in you
and keeping quiet
is all you can do.

"please help me"
my pride is broken
take my life
a worthless token
I never really
turned my back
I desperately crave
the soul I lack.