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Slightly creepy stories.

Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2004 1:49 pm
by Clare
This story is short and a bit creepy ;

Don't Go In

Have you watched a scary movie and then gone to bed right after? Your mind scrambles with ideas about different movie endings or parts of the movie you really liked? What happens when you go to bed and end up waking up in a world you've never been to? A world where you no longer exist and you have to find your way out by overcoming obstacles...would you be able to handle it?

"Let's go play in the woods," said Tina. "I don’t know, last time we did, mother was mad," replied Shawn. "Don’t be such a baby, Shawn! All we’re going to do is check out the old farm house... who knows, maybe the tools will come alive to get you... ha ha!" Tina said in a mocking voice. "Stop it, stop it right now!" screamed Shawn. "Hold your horses," laughed Tina. "I’m going to tell Mom," snickered Shawn. "If you do, I’ll just lie, and tell Mom who really broke the dish," grinned Tina. "So you might as well just come into the woods," Tina proudly said. "Fine!" pouted Shawn.

They started creeping into the woods. Owls hooted, trees shook in the wind, giving the appearance of the trees trying to reach out and grab the children. They slowly approached the old farmhouse. The sky slightly darkened, as a sign to be aware of something deadly. The branches brushed up against the windows, making the children’s hearts pump faster. An eagle above them screamed, which shot chills up both of their spines. Their stomachs caught in their throats, causing their screams to be choked up. Tina looked over at her brother; her jaw was dropping.

Shawn decided to take over as the leader and opened the door to the farmhouse. "Wait!" yelled Tina. "Why?" Shawn asked wide eyed. "Maybe it’s not such a good idea to go in," squeaked Tina. "Look who’s the baby now!" teased Shawn. With that, he took a look once more at his sister and went inside. A roar of thunder boomed and scared Tina, throwing her to the muddy, murky ground. Two seconds later, Tina heard Shawn screaming. "Help me, please don’t let it hurt me!" Tina got to her feet and ran into the farmhouse as quickly as her feet could take her. What she saw made her heart skip a beat. She looked up at a horrifying creature that felt like it had pierced her heart with a hot dagger. Shawn had a rope around his neck and there was no doubt in Tina’s mind that this hideous creature was going to hurt her brother.

She could feel her body turning cold, and she began feeling dizzy. The creature’s teeth were clinched in a smile, while his greasy hands held the rope tightly. Tina couldn’t bare to watch. She quickly turned around and screamed... "I’m sorry Shawn! I’m sorry for all the teasing I ever did to you!" She started running faster and faster out of the farmhouse and through the woods. Tears were now streaming down her cheeks. The sound of her heart was pulsing in her eardrums as she breathed heavily. She finally reached her house and went in to find her mother.

A lady, with an apron tied around her, was cooking in the kitchen. "Mom, something’s happened to Shawn. We have to save him!" she exclaimed. "Mom? Shawn? Who are you?" asked the lady. "What? What do you mean who am I... I’m your daughter!" "I’m not your mother. I don’t even have children," Tina quickly ran up to her room and closed her eyes once she landed on her bed.

This isn’t happening, Tina thought to herself. There has to be a reasonable answer for all of this. She closed her eyes. The words ‘go back’ appeared in front of the dark space of her eyelids. She quickly fluttered her eyes open and bolted up from laying down. She ran out of her room and rushed down the stairs. The woman who was her mother before, looked blankly at her. Once she was outside, she could hear the mushy, misty grass squish underneath her shoes. The air was cooler now and braced her face with every step she took. She wasn’t sure why she was rushing back...she didn’t know what she was going to do when she got there. It felt like a force was behind her, giving her that extra step to continue going. She kept looking at the ground as she ran, she knew she was going have to look up. She could feel the strange calm beginning to take over. The air was colder, the sky was even darker, she could smell the filthy beast. It was an odor so strong, it could paralyze anyone in their tracks. Tina banged into the doors with all her might, after a few tries...she got into the old farmhouse.

Tools were flying, doors were smashing against the walls into tiny pieces. It could make anyone’s ear drums split. She felt a chilly hand grasp around her arm, she jerked away. The monster was standing right in front of her...she looked all around and couldn’t see her brother anywhere. "Shawn?" Where was he... "Shawn!" He was no where to be seen. She ran from the hideous creature trying to catch her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her brother’s hand. "Shawn...run!!!" "I can’t, I’m stuck!" he screamed back. Tina ran over to him, trying to un tangle his legs from the rope, the knot was in too tight. The beast came behind her and slammed her body against a wall of the farmhouse. She tried to run once she fell, but her legs were in too much pain. The beast came up to her again and this time threw her across the farmhouse. Her back blistered the wall and her vision went black. All she could hear was the faint sounds of her brother crying for her to get up. She opened hereyes and saw her brother looking down at her fuzzy. He looked like he had possessed eyes. She tried to open her eyes more, but it felt like they were stitched shut. Her body felt numb and her mind felt like it was continually spinning around the room. "Shawn?" she asked quietly but received no response.

She tried to look over and saw herself laying in a bed. "Wake up!" she screamed. But her body laid lifeless in her room. She looked over at her clock and knew within a minute her alarm would go off. "Wake up, it’s 7:00 AM and you’re listening to Document Jazz," spoke the radio. "It was a dream?" she asked herself. She ripped off the sheets and bolted down the stairs. There was Shawn eating breakfast while her mother was loading the dishwasher. She quickly walked over to her brother. "Good morning, my dear brother." "What’s gotten into you?" he asked. "Oh nothing," It was all just a bad dream that left her body cringing in fear.

by Laura Hickey,
http://www.laurahickey.com

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:26 pm
by Colin
:razz:
I did enjoy your story Clare, not too creepy.

Do post another like it !!
:razz:

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:18 pm
by Digiwizz
This is a good science fiction one ;

Golgo Molgo

"I love you, Jeff," said Bobby Sue.
"I love you too," he said.
"You do?"
"I surely do."
Too/do/do/true - it rhymed, like a country and western song. But now she was thinking. Bad sign. All kinds of stuff starts to happen after a woman starts thinking.
"Jeff ....?"
"Yes?"
Here it comes. Brace yourself.
"Jeff ... I've been thinking. How about we get ourselves a dog?"
"Honey ... honey, you know how I feel about dogs."
That was how it started. Two hours later, crying and no longer cute - nobody is cute when they cry - Bobby Sue walked out. And didn't come back.

Jeff lay on the couch, his beer finished. Two weeks, and still no Bobby Sue. Meantime, the mutt next door was barking again. That dog!
"Can't you shut it up?" said Jeff.
"He only barks sometimes," said Neighbor Brown.
The mongrel yipped, on and off, from dawn to dusk. And, given that Jeff worked from home - as a nanotech designer he could work pretty much anywhere - it annoyed the hell out of him. Solution: record the sounds. Play them back.
"It's harrassment, buddy."
"Harrassment? What about their dog?"
"The dog is a dog," said the cop, bored and indifferent. "But this," he said, tapping the broadcasting unit, "this is harrassment."
Okay, then.
A dog is just a dog, even if it's annoying the hell out of your neighbors, but deliberately broadcasting amplified dog sounds in your neighbor's direction is harrassment. What, then, does this suggest? The obvious, of course!

Six months later, the obvious came bounding up from Jeff's basement. It yipped, barked, chased postmen, and (a bit of cheating trickery was involved here) actually excreted dog droppings.
"This is harrassment in spades," said the cop.
"It is?" said Jeff, innocently.
"You built this thing to annoy hell out of your neighbor at 2 am every night, and you're standing there with that innocent grin on your face?"

The next day, after Jeff found out that the cop was actually his neighbor's cousin, he went to a lawyer, Mr Pildickens.
"Look, forget it," said Pildickens. "You're not going to win this one. If it's not against the law now, it will be as soon as someone realises what you've done. The plain fact is, people love dogs because dogs love people. Your animated tin can may bark, micturate and defecate, and, for all I know, may copulate, but it's basically just a piece of mechanical junk, it's got no more emotions than a tinopener."
"But what about the law?" protested Jeff. "Don't I have rights? I mean, is there some invisible clause in the Constitution says this dog can annoy the hell out of me all day long, 365 days a year, or what?"
"Love," said Pildickens. "Love. Sentiment. That's what makes the world go round. People love their dogs, dogs love their people, and, if you're not in the loop, hey, that's your problem, not theirs."
So Jeff went back to work. The latest plug-and-play AI chips were just coming on the market, the ones that synthed love, hate and loyalty. Jeff bought a bunch and plugged them together. Voila!
And now Golgo Molgo the Robo-Dog had real emotions, including a killing rage, which lead it to tear apart Neighbor Brown's infant son in front of a dozen witnesses.

The resulting court case made history. Jeff was charged with murder. He had built a murder weapon which had savaged his neighbor's child to death. He defence was simple. He had not built a murder weapon. Instead, he had built a dog.
"Sometimes," said Mr Pildickens, "dogs kill people. That is unfortunate, but it is simply the nature of the beast."
And expert witness after expert witness stepped forward to say, yes, this is so. The jury was shown film of dogs savaging cattle and autopsy reports on children and infants torn apart by dogs. A string of victims appeared in court to display to the jury the scars of their canine encounters.
Yeah, I just patted the mutt, and it bit this finger right off. I was delivering the mail, they came for me in a pack, I was eight hours in the operating theatre. There were three of us, this hound from hell came tearing into us, brute must have weighed 200 pounds. We were raiding this crack house, they shot my partner then they turned loose the dog. I was walking down the street when this dog jumped right out of this truck window and tore my face off. I came home and there was this burglar right there, right in the middle of my apartment, and he went out of the window and left his dog to deal with me.
"The facts are simple," said Mr Pildickens, summing up for the benefit of the jury. "The bond between dog and master is a bond of emotion. A bond of love. Out of love, the dog will defend the master's territory, fighting to death when need be."
And, since Golgo Molgo the Robo-Dog had passed every existing test of canine psychology with flying colors, who was to say he was not a real dog?
"This," said Pildickens, his voice swelling with emotion, "this is ultimately a love story. An operatic love story of passion, of a dog defending the sanctity of his master's home."
In point of fact, Neighbor Brown's child had been torn apart on the sidewalk, not on Jeff's property. But maybe the jury lost sight of that. They found Jeff not guilty, and Jeff went on to win ten million dollars in damages in a string of law suits against the city, the police and Neighbor Brown.
Neighbor Brown retaliated by buying himself a handgun and trying to shoot Jeff dead. But he only winged him.

"Bobby Sue?"
"Jeff! Is that really you?"
She embraced him, tenderly, mindful of his battle wound.
He had brought love into the world. He had created something which could love him, and which he could love in return. And this, in Bobby Sue's eyes, had redeemed him.

Seventy years later, Bobby Sue died of old age. And Jeff passed away the next day. His will left nothing to his son, who was now the president of Afghanistan, nor to his daughter, who was now an over-the-hill hooker in Las Vegas. Instead, everything went to Golgo Molgo the Robo-Dog.
"And why not?" said Mr Pildickens. "If you can leave money to a university, a museum or a charitable foundation, why not to a dog, albeit a mechanical dog?"
As specified by the will, the money paid for a marble tomb from which solar-powered loudspeakers broadcast Jeff's recorded voice. And Golgo Molgo the Robo-Dog sat all day by the marble tomb, listening.
Golgo Molgo was still sitting there when the Rabbit Virus Catastrophe overwhelmed the human race, and he was still there a thousand years later when the S'Torian scout ship came by and found him still there, love incarnate, listening to his master's voice.


The End

This story, "Golgo Molgo", was first published in Vampire Dan's Story Emporium 2001(ed. Daniel Medici) (Syracuse, United States). Published a second time in Scheherazade, issue 24, December 2002 (ed. Elizabeth Counihan) (Brighton, United Kingdom, ISSN 0963-2611) (pp 26-28) (science fiction). "Golgo Molgo" made its first appearance on the Internet when posted online by Hugh Cook on 2003 August 17 Sunday. Copyright © 2001, 2002, 2003 Hugh Cook. All rights reserved.

New Twist

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:30 pm
by jsutagirl333
Hi,

There's a new part to the first story posted on the author's website.
[url]http://www.freewebs.com/mysteriouschill ... xcerpt.htm[/url]

Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 8:57 am
by Clare
:twisted:
Thanks Jsutagirl33,

and here it will be as soon as I can get it, from Mysterious Chills and Thrills by Laura Hickey ;



:twisted:

Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 9:11 pm
by jsutagirl333
I think for the new version, you gotta click on the blue link and it comes up in a new window in a pdf file. The post you have is the old version :grin:

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:00 am
by Clare
:oops:
Thanks again Jsutagirl33,

You are right and I have taken the old repeat off. But the link to the new is down at the moment so I will have to get that later !!
:oops:

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:30 pm
by jsutagirl333
You're welcome :grin:

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 10:36 am
by Clare
And here is the new version with an interesting new ending,

Don't Go In

Have you watched a scary movie and then gone to bed right after? Your mind scrambles
with ideas about different movie endings or parts of the movie you really liked? What
happens when you go to bed and end up waking up in a world you've never been to? A
world where you no longer exist and you have to find your way out by overcoming
obstacles...would you be able to handle it?
"Let's go play in the woods," said Tina.
"I don’t know, last time we did, mother was mad," replied Shawn.
"Don’t be such a baby, Shawn! All we’re going to do is check out the old farm house...
who knows, maybe the tools will come alive to get you... ha ha!" Tina said in a mocking
voice.
"Stop it, stop it right now!" screamed Shawn.
"Hold your horses," laughed Tina.
"I’m going to tell Mom," snickered Shawn.
"If you do, I’ll just lie, and tell Mom who really broke the dish," grinned Tina. "So you
might as well just come into the woods," Tina proudly said.
"Fine!" pouted Shawn.
They started creeping into the woods. Owls hooted, trees shook in the wind, giving the
appearance of the trees trying to reach out and grab the children. They slowly approached
the old farmhouse. The sky slightly darkened, as a sign to be aware of something deadly.
The branches brushed up against the windows, making the children’s hearts pump faster.
An eagle above them screamed, which shot chills up both of their spines. Their stomachs
caught in their throats, causing their screams to be choked up. Tina looked over at her
brother; her jaw was dropping.
Shawn decided to take over as the leader and opened the door to the farmhouse.
"Wait!" yelled Tina.
"Why?" Shawn asked wide eyed.
"Maybe it’s not such a good idea to go in," squeaked Tina.
"Look who’s the baby now!" teased Shawn. With that, he took a look once more at his
sister and went inside. A roar of thunder boomed and scared Tina, throwing her to the
muddy, murky ground. Two seconds later, Tina heard Shawn screaming. "Help me,
please don’t let it hurt me!" Tina got to her feet and ran into the farmhouse as quickly as
her feet could take her. What she saw made her heart skip a beat. She looked up at a
horrifying creature that felt like it had pierced her heart with a hot dagger. Shawn had a
rope around his neck and there was no doubt in Tina’s mind that this hideous creature
was going to hurt her brother.
She could feel her body turning cold, and she began feeling dizzy. The creature’s teeth
were clinched in a smile, while his greasy hands held the rope tightly. Tina couldn’t bare
to watch. She quickly turned around and screamed...
"I’m sorry Shawn! I’m sorry for all the teasing I ever did to you!" She started running
faster and faster out of the farmhouse and through the woods. Tears were now streaming
down her cheeks. The sound of her heart was pulsing in her eardrums as she breathed
heavily. She finally reached her house and went in to find her mother.
A lady, with an apron tied around her, was cooking in the kitchen. "Mom, something’s
happened to Shawn. We have to save him!" she exclaimed.
"Mom? Shawn? Who are you?" asked the lady.
"What? What do you mean who am I... I’m your daughter!"
"I’m not your mother. I don’t even have children," Tina quickly ran up to her room and
closed her eyes once she landed on her bed.
This isn’t happening, Tina thought to herself. There has to be a reasonable answer for all
of this. She closed her eyes. The words ‘go back’ appeared in front of the dark space of
her eyelids. She quickly fluttered her eyes open and bolted up from laying down. She ran
out of her room and rushed down the stairs. The woman who was her mother before,
looked blankly at her. Once she was outside, she could hear the mushy, misty grass squish
underneath her shoes. The air was cooler now and braced her face with every step she
took. She wasn’t sure why she was rushing back...she didn’t know what she was going to
do when she got there. It felt like a force was behind her, giving her that extra step to
continue going. She kept looking at the ground as she ran, she knew she was going have
to look up. She could feel the strange calm beginning to take over. The air was colder, the
sky was even darker, she could smell the filthy beast. It was an odor so strong, it could
paralyze anyone in their tracks. Tina banged into the doors with all her might, after a few
tries...she got into the old farmhouse.
Tools were flying, doors were smashing against the walls into tiny pieces. It could make
anyone’s ear drums split. She felt a chilly hand grasp around her arm, she jerked away.
The monster was standing right in front of her...she looked all around and couldn’t see
her brother anywhere.
"Shawn?" Where was he... "Shawn!" He was no where to be seen. She ran from the
hideous creature trying to catch her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her brother’s
hand. "Shawn...run!!!"
"I can’t, I’m stuck!" he screamed back. Tina ran over to him, trying to un tangle his legs
from the rope, the knot was in too tight. The beast came behind her and slammed her
body against a wall of the farmhouse. She tried to run once she fell, but her legs were in
too much pain. The beast came up to her again and this time threw her across the
farmhouse. Her back blistered the wall and her vision went black. All she could hear was
the faint sounds of her brother crying for her to get up.
“Get up!â€￾ Tina heard a voice in her head say. Groggily Tina forced her eyes open.
The distant sound of rocks sliding, dirt dusting her eyes. Pain shot through her body.
“Tina!â€￾ she looked over to her side to find her brother's legs tied up.
“Hey you!â€￾ Tina screamed to the nasty monster. “Leave him alone!!â€￾ Tina
grabbed a shovel to balance herself up and then smashed the monster on the back. It's
body shook the floor as it hit the bottom.
“Tina, untie me!â€￾ Tina rushed over to her brother with garden clippers. SNAP
“We have to get out of here before it wakes up!â€￾
“Tin..Tina!â€￾ Tina whipped her head around to find the monster standing over her.
It's hand coming towards her.
GASP
“No you don't!â€￾
“Ewwww,â€￾ screamed Shawn. Tina had bitten down on it's finger. It screamed a
mind numbing scream.
“Oh my...it's chocolate! The blood is chocolate. Let's get out of here!â€￾ Tina
grabbed Shawn and quickly carried him out of the nasty farmhouse.
“What do you mean it's chocolate?â€￾
“When I bit, it's finger blood didn't come out! Chocolate did! We have to get all
your friends now!â€￾
“Why?â€￾
“We're going to eat it alive!â€￾
“Tina, you're insane! I'm getting out of here!â€￾ Shawn started running through the
woods, Tina followed. Shawn wouldn't stop running until he was back at home.
“There is no way I am ever going back there,â€￾ he proclaimed to Tina.
“Don't you get it, it's some kind of chocolate monster!â€￾
“I don't care what is it!â€￾ Tina and Shawn kept on arguing. “Pull that shade down,â€￾
yelled Shawn.
“Finally at least something we can agree on. It's too bright in here.â€￾ Tina stated.
The second that left her lips their eyes widen. They bolted for the door and walked
outside.
“We have to get that monster outside so it'll melt.â€￾ But it was too late... Shawn's
jaw dropped. Before their eyes was the monster slowly trying to come after the children.
“Why isn't it melting into a puddle!â€￾ Shawn explained.
“Go get your friends, now!â€￾ Tina yelled. She paced herself outside as she watched
the monster move like a snail leaving a chocolate trail behind. Moments later her bother
came back with his friends.
“Wow, what is that thing! It looks so real!â€￾ asked one boy.
“Never mind what is it, just eat it!â€￾
“It's moving!â€￾ yelled another boy.
“Think of it as a game!â€￾ Tina proclaimed. All of Shawn's friends first stared at
the hideous monster, then started charging after it like a pack of wild animals. The
monster shirked with each bite taken out of it. Tina couldn't bare to look at the monster or
or even think of eating chocolate for a long time. She had prepared her taste buds for the
nasty taste of blood and now couldn't shake it.
“Look Tina! It's gone!â€￾ Tina had drifted off too long that now the chocolate
monster was gone.All that was left was a chocolate trail on the ground. Their mother was
driving up the driveway. Once she stepped out of the car, a disgusted look spread across
her face.
“What's going on here!â€￾
“Mom, this huge monster was coming after us and it was made out of chocolate.â€￾
“I don't wanna hear anymore lies, get this mess up cleared up this instant! Their
will be no more chocolate for quite a while, do you understand me!â€￾
“Yes,â€￾ they both replied. While there mother went into the house, the children and
all of Shawn's friends both worked to clean up the mess.
“Man Shawn, that was the coolest thing I've ever seen!â€￾ exclaimed one of his
friends. Shawn smiled. Tina was just happy things were over.
A few days later...
“Why does it hurt so much!â€￾ Shawn yelled from his bedroom.
“Honey, it's because you ate too much chocolate. You should've known better!â€￾
his mother stated. “How come Tina didn't get sick?â€￾
“She didn't eat any.â€￾ Tina came into Shawn's room.
“Get this, all your friends downtown are wicked cranky. And they are all sick
from eating the chocolate!â€￾
“What do you mean by cranky?â€￾ asked Shawn.
“They are ripping flowers off of people's lawns, throwing water balloons at
tourists. It's crazy down there!â€￾
“Well that's not going to continue. I'm going to call all of their parents this instant!
We can't have a bunch of wild children running the street.â€￾
“Why is everyone getting all cranky?â€￾ Tina asked Shawn.
“I think it must've been because of the chocolate. They ate more than I did.â€￾
“I'm worried...what if something bad is going to happen because they ate it,â€￾
Shawn asked.
“Like what?â€￾ Tina questioned.
“I just don't know...â€￾

Read the next chapter in this story soon on http://www.laurahickey.com

Not to be reproduced, copied, printed or sold without permission in writing
from Laura Hickey. All rights reserved.
© Laura Hickey

Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 11:00 pm
by jsutagirl333
Thanks for posting it :grin:

Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 11:17 am
by Clare
Well another that you might like Jsutagirl333 ;

Ghosthouses, by Rob Hopcott


Sound of ghostly telephone ringing.

Mandy:"Hello …………… you are through to Freephone Ghosthouses, Mandy speaking, how can I help You?"

George:"Yes, hello, it's George here, I'm a bit nervous - a first time caller - I'm always one for a good laugh, you know a nice comedy or comic drama but you are not having me on are you? Can you really find me a haunt?"

Mandy: "Naturally! That's what we're here for. Ghosthouses is a service that's been established for hundreds of years to provide advice and guidance to select embodied and disembodied life forms seeking desirable abodes."

George: "I'm a bit confused - I just held my hand to my ear and a phone appeared and the next thing I was through to you!"

Mandy:"We pride ourselves on our ease of access and utilise the most up to date of ancient technology. How can I help you sir?"

George:"This isn't a joke is it. I mean I am talking to a proper estate agency for ghosts."

Mandy:"Rest in peace - I mean completely assured, sir. May I ask you where you heard about us? I just need to know for our statistics sir?"

George:"Yes, yes of course, I understand. It was a chap I met in a lay-by. He said you found him a very desirable residence in some old disused offices. Since it seems he's an ex-accountant, he really feels at home."

Mandy:"Always nice to hear about satisfied clients, may I ask you how you came to be dispossessed".

George:"Well I've never actually been possessed. It's a bit embarrassing really. I'm sort of homeless, you know, on the streets - destitute."

Mandy:"Oh no, not another road accident."

George:"I'm afraid so - my wife bought me one of these new powerful super bikes for my 50th birthday".

Mandy:"She really hated you then!"

George:"What? Everything was great until an idiot decided to drive a manure trailer along this quiet country road. I rounded the bend there was the trailer, full of steaming, stinking pig 'fertiliser'. It could have been stopped for all the difference it would have made. "

Mandy:"What a way to go! No doubt about it, in my opinion, she definitely wanted to get rid of you. Disgusting I call it. She should have been charged with murder. Can you think of any reason she would want to get rid if you?"

George:"Well, now you mention it, she has been a bit friendly with the chief librarian, recently".

Mandy:"I'd take a holiday once you've got yourself established in the after life. Go back and haunt her a bit - it's good for the soul. A traffic accident is a rotten way to die. (She wasn't friendly with the farmer too was she?) Anyway, there's far too much of it about these days. At least when people mainly died in their homes, it gave them a place to start off haunting for a while. The motor vehicle has changed all. I can tell you it's posed many problems for us in the haunting industry."

George:"Well this is all very interesting but have you got anywhere for me to stay. I'm really desperate."

Mandy:"Well, if you want a peaceful haunting, it could be difficult at the moment. There are fewer empty homes on the market for first time haunters. It's to do what with the new rating legislation. Corporeals can't afford to keep properties empty. Of course there are lots of bankrupt shops as a result of the government's successful small business policies. But main roads and high streets are not that quiet."

George:"Anything, really, I'm getting desperate".

Mandy:"Would you be willing to consider something occupied?"

George:"Well, as you realised, I'm quite new in this ghost business. I was at a petrol station only the other day and I accidentally materialised as a woman was filling her car with petrol. She got such a shock that she let the tank overflow on to the forecourt. Her scream scared me so much I spontaneously combusted - well that was the end of the filling station."

Mandy:"Yeah, I heard about that. Twenty eight got re-housed by a competitor in an old warehouse. Lots of space but not many amenities. You should avoid that sort of thing or there'll soon be a real housing shortage."

George:"But how do I get to these places. Do you have detailed particulars?"

Mandy:"Goodness gracious, you are a beginner. All you have to do is listen to my description, think about it for a minute, want to be there and then you will be. A bit like the way you thought you were holding a telephone and then you were."

George:"Yes, I'm still getting used to that one".

Mandy:"Would you consider taking up possession on another planet or do you require a haunting on earth."

George:"Oh that's a new thought. You mean you've got properties on other planets?"

Mandy:"Of course we have, silly. Time and space are meaningless to us so whether we are haunting earth or elsewhere is irrelevant. We are proud of our thriving alien properties section."

George:"But wouldn't that mean that they could come over here and possess our properties".

Mandy:"Naturally - and they do! Think of some of the really strange sightings Corporeals have reported. Intelligent cloud forms, pink elephants, little people - all grist to our alien properties section I can tell you!"

George:"To be honest, I'm a bit nervous about going anywhere to view at the moment. Could you show me some pictures to help me decide?"

Mandy:"Better than that, have you thought of calling us up on the Internet?"

George:"How do I do that?"

Mandy:"Same way as you did the telephone but think about a keyboard and a computer terminal. You'll be straight into our Web Site, Ghosthouse.com.Earth. Its modern facilities provide a high degree of interaction and user friendliness with eye blink menu control for limb challenged spirits."

George:"Will I still be able to talk to you because I really feel you are somebody I can relate to".

Mandy:"If you use the video link on top of your computer screen then you will be able to see me sir and I will be able to see you."

George:"Hang on a minute - I had my own computer business when I was alive so I'm quite at home doing this. Yes there it is and may I say what a lovely looking lady you are. I hadn't thought of you as a blonde with long hair - your slight American accent made me picture your hair as shorter and darker."

Mandy:"I can change it if you want sir. At Ghosthouses ......."

George:"Yes, it's OK I think I've got the gist - you will do very nicely as you are!"

Mandy:"There is one thing I would ask of you sir."

George:"For such a pretty girl as you and since we are getting on so well you are absolutely welcome to ask me anything!"

Mandy:"Well your left eye - it's sort of dangling out of it's socket, could you put it back please. I'm just going on my elevenses and gaping eye sockets and dangling eyes are unappetising sir - I'm sure you'll understand, sir. At Ghost house we pride ourselves on our reputable clients. If all our clients are going around seeing properties with dangling blood shot eyes, people might find it off putting, sir. I tell you what, why don't you browse our Web Site and then call us back - after you've put your eye back in it's socket of course."

Sound of ringing off...
Sound of ghostly telephone ringing

Mandy:"Hello Ghosthouses here, Mandy speaking, how can we help you?"

Peter:"Hello Peter here. I've a complaint to make."

Mandy:"Oh no not you again. I thought we'd sorted you out."

Peter:"So did I, but when I first looked round the place you didn't tell me that it was a holiday home. There I was minding my own business, enjoying settling in and then suddenly ... mayhem. Children everywhere, happiness, enjoyment - it was absolutely terrifying. You described the place as quiet and gloomy. I call that a property mis-description. I could sue you."

Mandy:"Well there's lots of people dead and alive that can't imagine anything gloomier than a late thirties red brick terrace in Burningham on Sea!"

Peter:"It's all very well you making a joke of it, but I've got bad nerves. I need somewhere quiet."

Mandy:"Hang on I've got something here. It's just come in. How do you fancy a walk in fridge that used to belong to a butchers - a cool ambience with unrestricted aspects on all sides?"

Peter:"Oooooooh - now that sounds better, even ideal - I'll move in straight away, see you later."

Mandy:"In the nicest possible way, sir, I hope not!"

Sound of ghostly telephone ringing off
Sound of ghostly telephone ringing.

Mandy:"Hello Ghosthouse here, Mandy speaking, how can I help you?"

George:"I'm sorry about the eye thing. I feel so embarrassed. There I was thinking I was charming you when all the time I was all grotesque."

Mandy:"There's nothing wrong with grotesque, sir, some of my best friends are grotesque. At Ghosthouses we believe in equal opportunities. But there's a time and a place for everything sir - as long as you are not wanting to enjoy your elevenses and a Jaffa cake of course. Now, how can I help you?"

George:"Well I thought that this one looked rather nice -

Mandy:"A good choice if I may say so sir, very tasteful. Used to be a country pub but the drink drive laws closed it down - previous owner committed suicide and haunted the place for a while but then felt he wanted a change and moved on to an Olde Worlde Tea House. They say he's very popular with the tourists because he doesn't mind materialising in crowds. Feel free to spend a couple of days over there - sort of on approval - to see if you like it."

Sound of ghostly telephone ringing.

Caller:"Su dnouf uoy ytreporp ecin eht rof uoy knath ot gnillac tsuj."

Sound of ghostly telephone ringing off

George:"What on earth was that?"

Mandy:"Nothing at all to worry about, sir. Just a crossed line. Time Shifters. They can be very confusing to deal with when they call especially when they are going backwards through time instead of forwards. All their words come out back to front and they start off thanking you for finding them a nice property and then move on to asking you for one. It's better really if they can synchronise their time direction before they call - they just wanted to thank us for finding a nice property for them."

George:"That's a relief - look I'm feeling quite frayed at the edges, I'll pop off now and try that place out".

Sound of ghostly telephone ringing off
Sound of ghostly telephone ringing

Mandy:"Ghosthouses, Mandy speaking, how can I help you?"

Peter:"Peter here again, Believe me Mandy, just believe me. You've really stitched me up this time!"

Mandy:"You are not going to tell me that you didn't find an old butchers fridge really gloomy and depressing - ideal you said."

Peter:"But I envisaged a fridge in the back of a shop somewhere - this fridge was travelling down the M4 at 50 miles an hour".

Mandy:"Ooooooops!"

Peter:"I want to make a complaint to your superior for giving me a hard time".

Mandy:"Err, she's a bit busy at the moment but if you don't mind being put on hold, I'll pass you over as soon as she's available."

Peter:"I don't mind waiting as long as it takes. You're not putting me off this time - you'll get yours, I can tell you."

Mandy:Just putting you on hold now, sir."

Clicking sound of Peter being put on hold

Mandy:(To herself:) "I wonder if I should have told him I'm the boss. He's going to have a very, very, long wait? No silly me - I must be getting soft in my old age!"

Sound of a ghostly telephone ringing

Mandy:"Ghosthouses here,the agency that really cares. Mellow Mandy speaking, how can Ireallyhelp you?"

George:"It's George here - I say I tried that place. You were absolutely right it was lovely and quiet. It was in a lovely country location. There was a beautiful garden outside with all sorts of wild flowers and a little pond. There were oak beams and open log fire places. Completely ideal for a new ghost seeking tranquillity".

Mandy:"I get the feeling that this leading to something."

George:"It's boring. I sat there for hours and had nothing to do. I've spent my whole life being busy and the thought of doing nothing for day after day is an absolute nightmare."

Mandy:(with a sigh:) "I can see that this is going to be one of those days. Couldn't you commune with the butterflies or something."

George:"Well there was an earwig passing. I tried being friendly but talking about the joys of watching wood rot just made me fidget - quite a lot."

Mandy:"George, I've just put on my thinking cap for you and come up with a brilliant idea. This George, believe me, will be absolutely ideal."

George:"You mean it?"

Mandy:"Definitely. You would make an absolutely perfect temporary dramatic ghost."

George:"Well I did help put on an amateur play once - I had to bang a drum at the tense bits. But what exactly is a temporary dramatic ghost?"

Mandy:"Well ghosts that have a regular dramatic haunting - you know, tragedies, re-enacted murders, blood oozing from floorboards - just like everybody occasionally need a rest. Sort of respite if you like. Sometimes they appreciate having somebody standing in for them. You know, somebody to keep the show going on while they are away. All situations are short term so you'll never get bored. You'll be provided with a script to work to so you won't have to make any decisions - it's perfect for a novice ghost that's prone to boredom. And it'll give you a good opportunity to try your hand at a variety of situations."

George:"Sounds great - I'll go for it!"

Mandy:"And here's an ideal first assignment. You are required, in return for bed and board, to occupy a tumble down house for a week. It's quite a light tragedy. The present occupant is a nice young boy who got trapped there and died in agony. He doesn't appear for everybody. Just other small boys - sort of as a public service warning."

George:"But I don't look like a little boy".

Mandy:"Use your imagination and you'll have no problem".

George:"Yes! I must be positive. It's a long time since I wore short trousers - I'll take it!"

Sound of ghostly telephone clicking off

Mandy:"Well look! It's time for lunch already. I've missed my elevenses again and I'm starving. I'd better go before the phone rings. Never mind, it's been a good morning - even if I say so myself. There's still Gloomy Pete to sort out but he'll be all right on hold. Maybe I'll have a brilliant idea about him while I eat. Now come to think of it, I heard of an empty space station feeling lonely the other day and also there's the growth market for haunting the inside of computer screens......"



The End, copyright Rob Hopcott 1999, 2000.